i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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