why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
