So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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