you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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