I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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