So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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