That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
