I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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