I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
