I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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