I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
