no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
