Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
