Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
