fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
