just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
