I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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