Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
