oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
