I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
