o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
