He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
