i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
