just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
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She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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