I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
