But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
