i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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