fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
