it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
