Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize