went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
