So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
