Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
