What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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