Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
