Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize