We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Houston, we have a squirter
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Randomize
