I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
