what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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