woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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