It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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