Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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