I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
