I should be sponsored by Trojan
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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