Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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