Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
