Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
