I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
