I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
