i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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