apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize