he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
