I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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