I need help removing her.
Duck Duck Cougar?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
MIDGETS
????
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
