I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
