im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
