I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
