the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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