How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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