sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It's rum buckets o'clock
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize
