I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
