Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
your room smells of hookers.
And success
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
