At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
