how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
